How My Life Teaching Moment Helped with Client Conflict Resolution
Have you ever had a moment in your life that stands out as a teaching moment that has made you who you are today? My moment transformed and prepared me as a Project Manager and Owner to tackle difficult conversations. Let’s face it, whether personal or in the workplace, we are constantly faced with resolving conflict. At the same time, I have learned (or found) that not everyone is comfortable with expressing what needs to be said. So, it really resonated with me when a couple years ago I discovered a tool that has made conflict resolution easier. More about that in a minute.
My Story
My teaching moment was when I was in sixth grade. I had a teacher I felt was not being fair. I expressed to my mother my frustration to see if she could help. She told me that she could go to this teacher and have a conversation, but that the teacher would probably respond better if I addressed the issue head on. She coached me on how to have the conversation so I had the tools to handle the conversation on my own.
I was nervous as I entered her classroom. I asked the teacher if she had a moment that we could step outside of the class and talk. I told her how I felt and wanted to bring it to her attention to see how we could resolve the issue. The teacher was impressed and happy that I brought it to her attention. We came up with a solution and each day after I felt that I was respected and developed a better relationship with that teacher. Each day I look back at that experience, I realize that was the moment I learned to speak up about concerns and not fear the hard conversation to resolve conflict.
Resolving Conflict
By no means am I an expert at resolving conflict. However, I have learned that avoiding the subject and hoping it goes away rarely works. Additionally, conflict doesn’t have to be looked at as negative. Sometimes opportunities flourish from conflict. The other person might be feeling the same way and because you took the time to say something your relationship improved. A great resource for learning more about conflict resolution is Mindtools. Below are some tips I have learned throughout the years to help resolve client issues:
- Perception is Reality - The definition of conflict is to be incompatible. So in order to resolve conflict, the first step is to listen and understand the other person’s or group’s point of view. We all come from different experiences that influence us and can lead us to make assumptions. So it’s important to understand that someone else’s views may have nothing to do with you, but be based on their past experience. So with that, we must also realize that perception is the truth no matter if you think it’s true or not. Once you put your mind around that fact you can begin to focus on what can be done to resolve the issue.
- Managing Expectations – Managing expectations with a client requires being proactive vs. reactive. Once a client is frustrated with multiple things that have built up over time, it takes a lot more work to resolve the issue and sometimes is too late. For professional services firms that need to manage clients, a great tool to help with this is the Client Feedback Tool. The only way you can really know what a client is thinking is to ask. This tool allows a firm to check-in with their clients using two minute surveys throughout the project. When you do this, you uncover things your firm has done that your clients love (so you can continue to do more of the same) as well as things that your client would like you to change if only slightly. This doesn’t remove the need for picking up the phone and calling, but it is great for letting you know there is an issue before it gets unmanageable. And, it is very comfortable for clients to let you know things you might not think to ask on the phone and that they might feel were perhaps not worth mentioning on a project call. However, knowing allows you to adjust your service delivery and make you even more valuable to them.
- Take Action – When a person does speak up about an issue, it’s important to follow-up, follow-up, follow-up and take action! Keep in mind that this doesn’t mean that you go against best practices or things you know are not in the best interest of the client or your firm. The feedback just brings out in the open something that matters to your client. It gives everybody a moment to collect their thoughts and then have a discussion. When you do, it’s important to communicate concerns you have and any consequences after fully understanding the client. At the end of the discussion and meetings, a recap of action items, who is responsible and due dates can help you get back on track.
So the next time you encounter an issue with a client, I hope my story and tips help you think about ways you can deal with conflict resolution. Be sure to share your conflict resolution tips or stories. Should you want to provide your employees a way to manage expectations, we invite you to take a tour of the Client Feedback Tool.


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